my 1911 house before remodeling

I promised a miracle and now must produce it eh? I am alive and just bought a 2bdrm victorian house and moved into it even as sick as i was-wow you talk about adrenlin-i forced myself to buy the house -furniture and then drive 25 miles each day till i could sign papers and move in. I thank my dear friends locally who have put out great effort to move me in -will be publishing pics of the house and perhaps even me-lol yes still skinny but am forcing myself to eat-i know i left sl abruptly but had to be that way if i was going to move into the real world. This will be short since i just got internet.
Never never never give up  the sign on my front porch says kicking cancers ass and i damn sure am trying to do so

My old blog

Guncarver-Thoughts at the end of Life

Monday, June 4, 2012

Dreams

I dreamed I was flying
flyinnnnnng
flyingggggggg
Soaring through the sky
Touching the clouds
pushing them away.
I dreamed I was flying
flyinnnnng
flyinggggggggggg

Then one day my real life
met Second Life
And my dreams became true
flyinggg
flyingggg
flyinggggg
I flew to the heavens
Danced on the moon
Talked to the Creators-
(will add their names and location later)



Thanks for your
creativity
Creativity everywhere
Dreams coming true

Be who you
desire to be

Be what you
dream to be

Charm all those
you love to

I dreamed of flying
flyinggggg
flyingggggg

And now
I am

Reality once began
as dreams

And in Second Life
Dreams
Become reality

The Island of Exstasia
I love
Here I dreamed of flying
and first did

I dreamed of flying
flyingggg
flyingggggg

Attaching Pegasus’s wings
to soar the winds
High to the clouds
Low to the seas
Soaring on angel wings

I dreamed I travelled
upon a magic carpet
a magic carpet

On Second Life I can fly
on my magic carpet
If I see you
come take a
ride

On a magic carpet
we will
ride

To dream the impossible
is glorious
To live what we dream
can be esquisite

I once dreamed of oceans
sailing on wild seas
There was no hope
I would ever see
the sea

But dreams evolve
into reality
sometimes

I sailed the Atlantic
to Malta
Valetta Bay
Met wonderful
people

I sailed to Rio, Brasil
Boa tarde my Brasilians
Obrigado for being my friends

I traveled to mysterious Hong Kong
Ni hao ma my friends
Bless you

I sailed to Japan
Found lovely Kamakura
Konichiwa my friends

Because I dared to dream
My dreams became
a reality

So dream often
Dream long

Look at Second Life
and test your
dreams

Perhaps your dreams
will become your
reality
Too.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

SHE SITS

A lady told me a sad story-she was separated from her husband because his four brothers molested her and the husband told her to just forget it because they were his brothers and he wanted no trouble. I still feel the pain in her soul as she related her broken trust. She met a man on the internet and after a year was debating on taking a chance on love again-this poem came from our conversation.

She sits
Holding the White Rose
Thinking of him
Dreaming of
What could be,
And what has been.
She remembers
The past
The pain
The suffering
The broken trust
Wondering
If she can ever love
Again.
She fingers
The
White Rose

As she remembers
His smile
And the wanting
Of his kiss
Knowing that it is time
To learn trust again.
But the fear
Holds her back
So
She sits
And touches the White Rose.
Then at once
A calm comes over her
And she lays
The White Rose
On the bench
And smiles

As she walks away

To her new
Love!

Some Thoughts

Over the years i have loved sharing my mind and inner soul with all of you. you are the most fascinating people i have ever met and i love you all and wish you the best -it is such a small world and we are all connected if we realize it-may all of you and your families be blessed and kept safe----feel free to read and enjoy my work my friends and if they will help u in any way i am also blessed-to give your inner self is the greatest joy--- all too often we take our troubles and internalize them and don't share therefore we don't know how much others care for us-
again thanks

comments are always welcome so don't be shy
Gun/Rich

A Broken Gemstone

Dedicated to the wonderful ladies who shared their troubling stories -of what caused them to fall out of love with their partners--men we need to listen closer to our loved ones!


A Broken Gemstone

Oh I had love
But instead of treating
It as the the single Gem
It was
I fractured it into
A million pieces
And squandered
Every sparkle
Until all I had
Left
Was myself

For like so many
Before me
I took the
Broken Path

I chased greed
for material things
I chased my own
Pleasure
And I shut
You out

I chased power
And got it
And lost all
Of you
In the process

For my work
For my golf
For my hobbies
For myself

I chased empty
Dreams

Never as I wandered
That broken road
did i realize
That without you
I was nothing

Not before
Nor after

It took a break
In that broken
road
To make me
Realize

That you are
The same

It is I who
Has changed

But the past
Rarely can be
Rebuilt

The path and its
Sorrow
Can no longer
Be changed

So the tears
Fall
Not for me
But for you

I have wronged
You
And lost you

I have destroyed
Your esquisite
Love for me

No glue will mend
the
Broken Gemstone

I pulled back
And dwelled deep
Into my tortured
Self

Shutting out
The one person
I should have
Loved
Above all else

And so it is
I wander
And search
For the love
I lost

Sadness for my fellow vets

 wrote a poem called -a soldier's pain- over 50,000 copies went out -it has touched many vets and their family because we share a common bond

in hopes of helping more i am posting a comment i got for the poem on www.wardog.com

FW: poem on wardog.com‏
From: name withheld but thanks js

To: guncarver@hotmail.com


Mr. Young,

I just read your poem on wardog.com, and I was moved to tears. This is a picture of most all Vietnam veterans, if they would only just admit to it. My husband served in 70-71 at Red Beach, and he is disabled from an anxiety disorder. He cannot stand crowds, darkness, or anyone to be behind him in a group. Up until recently, he did not admit to many that he was a Vietnam vet. I have gotten him some stickers for his motorcycle and a license plate with Vietnam veteran on it. He also has a cap with that on it. He did not want people to know he served there. I told him to be proud of his service and I have pride in all Vietnam veterans and veterans from other wars too. Most men that I meet that were in Vietnam have issues with anxiety, but some handle it better than others. Our country sent our 'boys' to war, and yes, you all were just boys. My husband says the movies he sees are not correct, in that the actors are too old, he said he did not see old men there, just kids. I think part of the reason for all the patriotism today, is that most of the parents of today's soldiers are Vietnam veterans, or people from that time that saw how they were treated. My husband mentioned to me about the name 'baby-killer' and how much it hurt to be called that. I cannot understand a country sending young men to war and then just abandoning them when they return. My father served in Korea and he has the same problems. When I was young, and even now, we knew not to touch Dad when he was not aware we were there. He just lashed out and hit whatever touched him. He will not speak of much that he saw, he holds it all inside. My mother told me about this; not Dad. A man at our church, that grew up in the community that I did, was in Vietnam and Cambodia and he has nightmares from the things that he saw there. His wife said he has it very rough sometimes. A girl that I worked with told me of her husband and how he would not sleep in the house but in a hammock in their garage and had the same anxiety problems that my husband had. I know it is not just Americans that have these problems, all soldiers do, regardless of what country they are from. God bless you and touch the raw places in your heart and heal them. I love my Vietnam Vet and the rest of them too!!!!!!

Best wishes,
A Proud Veteran's Wife

All I Really Want

Dedicated to the ladies who tell me we men need to quit being so self centered and really listen to their needs!


ALL I WANT

All I want
Is a man who will listen
Really listen

I love you
You say you
Love me

I listen to
You
But you never
Listen
To me

All I want
Is a man
Who will listen

You have problems
I have problems

I thought love
Was sharing
And caring

All I want
Is a man
Who will listen

Well dear, I care
Well dear, I care

But
All I want
Is a man
Who will listen

I get tired
I get cranky


I need love
I need held

And

All I need
Is a man
Who will listen
Really listen

To me!

And Beyond

Your eyes make
me want to soar
to the heavens
and beyond

Your eyes make
me want to conquer
the world
and beyond

Your eyes make
me want to make
a better person
and beyond

Your eyes make
me want to love
you like I did
when we first met
and beyond

Your eyes
Your eyes
Your eyes
Yes I love
Your eyes
and beyond!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Have I Told You?

Have I told you
How much I love
You?

Have I told you
How happy you
Have made me?

Have I told you
How much you mean
To me?

Have I told you
How pretty
Your are?

Have I told you
Oh, Have I told you
How proud I am
Of you?

Have I told you
I love how you dress?

Have I told you
I love the gray
In your hair?

Have I told you
I love the wrinkles around
Your eyes from laughing
At my silly antics?

Have I told you how much
I love to snuggle
Next to you?

Have I told you
The million and one
Things
That I should have
Before
You went away?

I should have
Told you
But like so
Many others
I lost my way

Have I told you?
Have I told
You?
Have I?
Told YOU?

Sunday, April 29, 2012

LOVE IS

1. You are the elusive wind
   Caressing my face
   
   
   You are the sun
   gently warming my body
   
   
   You are the one
   the epitome of Love
   
   
   Love is tender
   Love is passion
   Love is warmth
   Love is trust
   Love is eternal
   Love is forgiving
   
   
   So many find love
   and then do not
   believe in Love
   
   
   But Love still believes
   
   
   The trees sway in the wind
   Then pause
   and sway on
   
   
   The rivers race to the
   ocean shores
   Winding and bending their way
   to the ocean
   
   
   Thats how love
   can be
   fast and slow
   
   
   At various times
   
   
   We tend to want love to be constant
   even when
   we cant be
   
   
   To enjoy my love for you
   Let it flow gently
   through your hair
   
   
   Let it caress you face
   and
   Touch your breath
   
   
   Let your spirit
   absorb all my love
   And it will fill you
   It will fuel you
   It will feed you
   
   
   If you only
   relax
   and allow it to happen
   
   
   It WILL HAPPEN
   
   

QUICKSAND AND LOVE

How do you move on
When your feet
Are buried
In quicksand?

How do you move on
After losing
Your best friend?

How do you move on
After losing
Your partner
Your soulmate
The great love
Of your life?

How do you move on
After losing
That special
Someone or Someones
In your life?

How do you move on
When your
Feet and heart
Are stuck
In quicksand?

The mystery of life
Is the miracle of Love
To heal the pain
Of the heart
If only you
Will allow love
To do so

You take all
The fond memories
All the thoughts
All the feelings
All the tender moments

And place them
Into a lovely box
In your mind

You wrap them
With your tears
Place a bow
With their name
Written upon it

And place that
Special box
Where it belongs
Deep within you

So deep it is
Surrounded not
By sorrow
But with Love

And every now
And again
When you need power
To move your feet
Out of that quicksand
You take the box
Out one more time
And explore
Its contents of Love
Again

How do you move on
When your feet and heart are stuck
In quicksand?

You fill the quicksand
With Love
And you float free

Free to love
Again!

Sometimes i get inspired by sensing things or thoughts or feelings and so it is with the poem Quicksand & Love my dear thanks go out to the person we call Seep for sharing her esp poetry with me and the world it is wonderful to have found that love and even if you lose it to life's struggles to keep the memories of that person deep within you Thanks Seep

Monday, May 16, 2011

World Peace

what is it and how do we achieve it? I have no idea what it is -since the beginning of mankind we try to eliminate anyone who has a different culture-different viewpoint -different way of talking-or a different accent-if nothing else fails then we try to eliminate those of our own kind nearest to us. We are cruel to our friends , families and neighbors and loved ones. Then we go home and smile and say that we are good people. Are we? or are we hypocrites? i think it was Will Rogers who once said if there is no anger in your heart then then can be none in your words. We could cure all problems in the world-poverty, hunger you name it we could easily cure it? How? stop being so greedy as individuals and finally realize that we are all one people. OMG shock we are all connected-yes you europeans are connected to americans and americans are connected to asians and they are connected to everyone too-silly thought isnt it-so we continue to kill each other off till we are the only group left on earth and then we will kill off our own group and the world will be empty and happy at last-no hunger -no pollution-no pain and suffering -no diseases-wake up world your time is running out -it is up to u to change your hearts deep within----will you? no -because we are all both good and bad but we were given the most important thing as humans that animals dont have --Choice-now use it Damnit!!!!!

You Amaze Me

You lie in my arms
Late at night
and
I reflect

It has now been
20 years
30 years
40 years
50 years
60 years
70 years

Together
As one

We have been
Up
We have been
Down
We have laughed
We have cried

Joy
Sorrow
Yes my love
We have had
It all
And yet my
Love
You have stood
By me

You have wavered
Just as the trees
Waver
With a strong wind


You have worried
About me
Just as a mother
Worries
About her children


You have had doubts
About me


Just as we
All should doubt
Things sometimes


It brings change
It brings reflection

And yet
Just as the sun
Is there for us
Each day
You
My Love
Have been there for me

Without you
I could not
Have been
Who I am

Without you
I could not
Have been
Who I could be

Without you
I would have missed
Many joys in life
Many breathtaking
Sunrises
Many glorious
Sunsets

So as you lie
In my arms
And
I reflect

I have not told you
Enough times that
I love You

I have not shown
You enough
Attention

I have not deserved
The love
Of such a wonderful
And
Beautiful woman
Such as you

But for all these
Years I have
Had you

And somehow
Over the years

Through the unspoken
words
Through the soft touches
Of your hand
Upon mine
Through the special
Look
You give me

I know
I know completely
My dear

That somehow
You love me
As much
As I do you
And
I thank YOU

As you lie in my arms
Late at night
And
I reflect!

Signed,
Your Loving Husband

There are relationships which give me hope for the human race. This is one of them. It is easy to walk away from our commitments in life-- so much more difficult to face them, work out the problems, solve them, and move on. I know this because this is a true story --it is the story of my Mom and Dad who died not too long ago after almost 70 years. Dad had Altzheimer's and would not remember any of his six children, but I watched him reach over from his easy chair and lightly touch Mom's arm. They spent their last years together in a nursing home-when Dad went in Mom moved in also to be near him-Dad died first then a few months later Mom said she was tired, in pain and missed Dad terribly and was going to join him.
And she did! Now that is Love my friends!!!


Think about it.
And thanks Mom and Dad for telling me your story from the grave!
I love you also

Gun/Rich

A Soldier's Pain

RICHARD YOUNG"Guncarver"

A SOLDIER'S PAIN

The pain of a thousand

Veterans in my ears,

Paltalk brings me

To tears----------

Wanting to share

Wanting to care

As if tears can wash

Away the ravages of war

Gone to serve

Gone to say an oath.

To serve God and Country.

Not wanting to die-

But suffering worse-

To live when close

Friends die instead.

Bitter feelings of

Coming home.

Of why me not him?

Then the country

Turning Treason on Vets

Who served proudly.

Wondering

Wondering.

Confusion!

Anger with our

Country and our people

Who forced us

To go to war.

Who drafted us

Into service, then rejected us

For serving!

Confusion!

What did we do wrong?

Serve proudly?

Yes we did!!

Fight bravely?

Yes we did!!

We are the proud.

We are the ones.

Our country has broken us

Even when the enemy

Could not.

We were defeated, not by Vietnam

But by the USA.

We were defeated

By our own family,

Friends, loved ones.

And all those who

Did not support us

Like Hanoi Jane Fonda!

You broke our hearts

And our minds.

Our bodies

And our spirits---

More than the bullets

Killed us on the battlefield.

Your words and actions

Killed us

When we returned to you.

You spat on us!!

You rejected us!!

Then accepted with honor

Those who ran to Canada

To avoid duty.

You took our honor

And gave it to traitors!!

And

Gave us shame!!

Through our depression

A strange thing happened-

We awoke---

This sleepy thing

Called Veterans

And we united.

All Branches of service

Blended

Together as one.

As an armed forces combined.

To give comfort

And caring and sharing.

We will overcome!

We will be proud!

We will hold our heads high!

Through our shame we have arisen!

And

As a force of one army

We shall change

People!

We shall change

Thoughts!

We shall defeat all those

Who tried to shame us.

We stand proud

And say this to our Country----

You have stained the flag

With the blood of our fallen Brothers and Sisters!

You have made Veterans take their own lives

After they returned home!

Their blood is on your hands now.

Because when you shame us----

You also shame yourselves

Because, my friends-

We are you!!

We are your Sons and Daughters

Your Grandsons and Granddaughters

We are your Aunts and your Uncles

We are your Cousins

We are your Brothers and Sisters

We are your Loved Ones.

We are in essence

YOU!!

Now who has the shame?

Now who has the pain?

Not us!

We finally hold our heads high

And say proudly to you---

Yes we are Vietnam Veterans!!!!

We are the ones

Who fought the fight!

We never ran

We never crawled away----

Even though, by God, sometimes we wanted to.

We tasted fear---

As all soldiers do.

We overcame our enemies over there

And now

We will overcome you.

Perhaps if only one thing happens

From this event

And then we will be proud of America.

May America never again be ashamed

Of her Vets who proudly

Served and Died,

But more importantly

May the Vets who proudly

Served and Died

For their Country

Never again be ashamed
of their own Country...

AMERICA!!!!

©Copyright 2001 by Rich Young

This is dedicated to my fellow brothers and sisters and freely given to them for their use to be shared or printed anywhere anytime

  But most importantly---- Welcome Home!!!

United States Navy
Vietnam Veteran
Proudly Served 1967- 1968 TET